What makes a mother? - Anonymous

I love this poem and found so much comfort in reading this many nights ...

What Makes A Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes

And prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a mother;

And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby

This we know is true.

But God, can you be a mother

When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied

With confidence in His voice.

I give many women babies;

When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime

And others for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb;

But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this,

God I want my baby here!

He took a breath and cleared His throat,

And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you

What your child is doing today.

If you could see your child smile

With other children and say...
"We go to earth to learn our lessons

Of love and life and fear

My Mommy loved me oh so much,

I got to come straight here.
"I feel so lucky to have a Mom

Who had so much love for me;

I learned my lesson very quickly,

My Mommy set me free.
"I miss my Mommy oh so much

But visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep,

On her pillow there I lay.
"I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek

And whisper in her ear;

"Mommy don't be sad today,

I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see, my dear sweet one,

Your children are okay.

Your babies are here in My home,

And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you,

with MeUntil your lesson there is through,

And on the day that you come home

They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a mother;

It's the feeling in your heart.

It's the love you had so much of

Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize,

Until their time is done.

Remember all the love you have

And know that you are a SPECIAL MOM!

Anonymous

Christmas

Michael this Christmas was to be your first
And my heart aches for you.
I have your precious brothers with me
But I am incomplete without you

A time of Miracles, a time for Joy
But I cannot see …
beyond the fact, and the hard cold truth
I will not have my baby boy with me

Everyone expects mummy to be ok
“you need to be for your other children’s sake”
But my heart is so empty, I miss you so much
I wish you were here when I wake

In spirit you are with us
They all say
But I will not hold you , see you
This christmas day .

Rita

15th Of June

This was my Expected due date. I wrote this poem to honour the day he would have been born.

The 15th of June
Was the day we were to meet
The day we were to add
To our beautiful family

Now it is but a date
For many will come and go
What is its significance
No longer representing joy

No longer should I be pregnanat
I Should be coming home with you
Now a mother in other ways
My dreams will not come true

Yes a mother to an angel
An angel who had other plans
Who came to experience me for a short time
To pure and precious for this land

So now my dear the time has come
We will not meet just yet
And whilst I held you for a time so brief
I cant wait till I see you again
Rita

Grief

The grief is so overwhelming
The pain is so intense
The feeling of loss on a grand scale
The void so immense

My hands are yearning
To hold my precious boy
My heart is aching
I know I will not experience such joy

I should still be pregnant
In my tummy you should be
But all I can do for you now
Is place flowers at the cemetery

I know you are an angel
To pure for this plain
But I still miss you my precious boy
And I no longer want this pain

I long for the day I see you again
But for now I must go on
To learn life’s lessons , experience life’s joy
Life’s sorrow and so on.

Rita

Raindrops

Looking at the raindrops
Out of the window I see
Oh what is about to happen
Why does it need to be me.

I need to prepare
For the birth of my gorgeous son
A precious little boy
I won’t see turn one

I hold you in my arms
And think of the shattered dreams
A life time of memories gone
oh what you could have been.

I hold those precious moments
Close to my aching heart
I am still looking at the raindrops
Waiting for the healing to start.

They tell me it will take time
To deal with such a loss
No time will erase these emotions
This stone will gather moss.

As time has stood still
And out of the window I see
The raindrops are still falling
Or are they the teardrops within me.
Rita

In this Time of Loss

In this time of loss I call upon my spirit within to guide me to my strength so that I may find peace and completion. I will use this strength to demand of myself and others my need to grieve completely, for this will be my first step to healing. During my time of grief I will seek guidance not only from my inner spirit but from loving persons who may offer wisdom and comfort. I need to understand that the soul as well as the physical body needs healing and to pay attention to this. I will learn to accept that the soul may never heal completely. I will learn to live not in fear and once again see beauty in my world and purpose in my existence. In spite of my new knowledge that things happen that cannot be controlled, I must call upon the places within me that tell me I do have control over much of my life and use this control to aid my healing. Let me recognize the gift in my ability to conceive and carry life however briefly. Let me take joy in my ability to love so deeply and desire to nurture a soul unbeknownst to me. Let me find healing in the belief that this soul knew my love for it and that that love helped it to pass to another place. Let me honor this short life not only with my love but in finding meaning in its existence. Let me recognize this meaning in not only my ability to survive, but in my fullest appreciation of all the moments motherhood will bring me, along with my deeper compassion and sisterhood to other women who've experienced loss. Let a part of this soul be reflected in the spirit of my future children, born or adopted, so that I may know it through them. I will listen to and trust the place in my deepest heart that tells me I will once again be reunited with this soul and will fulfill the need to hold it in my arms. I will help myself to feel comfort in the knowledge that there is a star in heaven that belongs to me.

Author unknown

Eulogy for Michael - Read by Vince at Michael's Funeral

Initially I would like to thank you all for coming today . The support and love that Rita and I have received during this very difficult time has been very overwhelming and I cannot thank you enough .

To get up here and talk of my son ..a son I only met for a few brief moments before he died in my wifes arms is not something I expected to have to do ever . but here I am and as proud as ever as even though I only met him for a few moments , I saw within him a special boy .

Finding out my wife was pregnant with our third child was very big surprise. And whilst he was not planned he was very much a welcomed addition to our family. We Immediately started planning for our new child and began rearranging the house and getting organized for the day he would arrive . We were very excited for his arrival and his brothers daily kissed mummies tummy and talked about what there new brother or sister would be like .

We recently found out that Michael was gravely ill and would not make it and the day my wife delivered him was one of the most bitter sweet moments in our lives. Sweet cause we got to meet this precious little boy even for a few short moments and bitter because letting him goes was the hardest thing we ever had to do.

A little boy only 23cm in length and weighing 295grams , Michael was small indeed . But he had a look about him that was wise . Looking very much like his brothers , he was beautiful and at peace. And even though he was only 21 weeks , in those few moments my wife and I formed a bond that will last forever .

We now take comfort in knowing that as a physical being he may not be here but as a soul with god he will live forever. We carry him on our hearts every day and bury him today with great sadness but knowing that he never had to suffer one moment in his life . He is in a better place now …were he will know no suffering and no pain and will forever feel the deep love his parents and brothers have for him.

For Mummy - Love Michael (Chanelled)

A day prior to Michaels Birth I was a sleep on the couch Resting up for what was about to happen . I woke and felt compelled to write and without thinking this is what I wrote:

Don’t Cry for me Mummy
Don’t cry for me please
Cause on this earth as a physical being
I was not meant to be

Our journey together was so short
And for you so bitter sweet
Don’t cry for me Mummy
As I am were I need to be

A soul whos journey with you was short
Your were the chosen one
The one I knew would be strong

So Don’t cry for me mummy
I will be just fine
In my heart I will carry your love
Till the end of time

Love Michael

An Angel Never Dies - Anonymous

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born, that something stopped my heart, I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I loved you from the start. Although my body you can’t hold, it doesn’t mean I’m gone, This world was worthy not of me, God chose that I move on, I know the pain that drowns your soul, what you are forced to face, You have my word, I’ll fill your arms, someday we will embrace. You’ll hear that it was “meant to be, God doesn’t make mistakes” But that won’t soften your worst blow or make your heart not ache. I’m watching over all you do, another child you’ll bear, Believe me when I say to you, that I am always there. There will come a time, I promise you, when you will hold my hand, Stroke my face and kiss my lips and then you’ll understand. Although I never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes, That doesn’t mean I never “was”…An Angel Never Dies.